How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize