theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
