O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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