One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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