it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
