white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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