so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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