You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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