so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
