Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
