doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
