He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
