i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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