You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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