my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
