I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize