if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
