a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
