you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
