i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
