Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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