no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
