this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
