in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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