Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
vagina is talking i cant
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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