Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
