Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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