I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
