The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
