i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
