If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
