I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is my gift to your gina
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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