How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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