She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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