Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
