While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
