their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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