It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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