you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There r osticjed everywhere
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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