i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize