the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do vagina's smell?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
