alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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