Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
