Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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