Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
