What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize