Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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