OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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