If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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