thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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