I don't have enough holes for all these australians
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
