I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
