don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize