There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
