No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
