I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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