If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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