That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
