I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
