He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
