Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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