I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
