Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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