i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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