What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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