He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
